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You can't keep a good tower down - well not in the city-by-the-sea anyway. As soon as they're slapped down they spring up again like an unwelcome fungus after rain. As the nasty little bunch of gangsters, landlords, media luvvies and bent councillors who run Brighton as if it's their own feudal estate reach for the economic viagra to restore their flaccid dreams of empire, they're not taking no for an answer.

Planning application for your forty-storey monster rejected after massive public outcry? No worries: just shift it four feet to the left and add some feelgood eco-wash and a few wobbly bits and away you go. B&H Plc went one up on Tolkien this year by approving plans for 'three towers of evil' on the sea front. From west to east, we have the Frank Gehry ego-fest in Hove, the poncey i360 pushing the West Pier into history and finally a 40-storey addition to the car park that is Brighton Marina. Still at about a quarter of a million quid for a shoebox flat, some people are going to be on a nice little earner.

The Gehry Towers superstar architect Frank Gehry is already notorious for his neo-brutalist atrocities around the world, forcing self-important navel-gazing 'art' on an unwilling public. His horrific totalitarian turbo-capitalist future is now to be imposed on the genteel citizens of Hove. Towering over the Regency squares and terraces, the complex of buildings on the site of the King Alfred leisure centre involves two giant concrete towers, which will be built a bit wobbly as a cunning ploy to pretend that they're not just the same sort of concrete towers which everyone wishes hadn't been built in the sixties.

Local campaign, 'Save Hove', has tried to resist and pointed out that the planning application gave a deliberately distorted version of the state of Hove, overstating levels of decay. There are also other problems with the planning application, which the council are glossing over. Building cannot proceed without the £2.5 million indoor (key-worker) bowls centre that will occupy the irritatingly jaunty pile-of-brightly-coloured-boxes bit between the towers. But the funding for it is not assured. Save Hove have also revealed that developers Karis intend to use the green space on Western Lawns for 'skips, materials and temporary offices which may be three or more storeys high' - for five and a half years!

GREEN WITH ENVY

For most of October's five hour Policy and Resources committee hearing, the public and press were excluded by wooden shutters while secret pink papers were examined. Supreme Green Pontificator, Keith Taylor was initially troubled by the size of the scheme, which had grown from 640 flats to 750, despite the 'Local Plan' only allowing 300-400. The Greens had pulled Bill Randall from the vote as he was known to support the towers, but Keith and fellow Councillor Georgia Wrighton voted yes anyway, apparently because they were "a bit weary of this issue being tossed back and forth".

The second Tower of Evil is the i-sore360, a glorified pylon on the site of the West Pier (see RM 9). Now that the West Pier has mysteriously burnt itself down - twice - History need no longer stand in the way of the big metal pole of Progress. One sign of the huge importance of this building is that a mere brochure isn't enough - this doughnut-in-the-sky has its own manifesto! This self congratulatory verbal diarrhoea comes courtesy of Neo-Labour luvvie architects, London Eye designers Marks Barfield, who frequently remind us they're a husband and wife team. How cosy.

A classic of the wonkspeak genre, it pushes the semi-mystical idea that gimmicky 'prestige' projects can somehow make up for the total lack of any real economic activity in the UK - i.e. making things (OK, EDO, except bombs) - by creating an economy based on everyone selling each other overpriced cups of frothy coffee. Dave and Julia gush about humanity's "universal desire to see the earth and its cities from exceedingly high places" - which may indeed be true, but if so, RM suggests walking up Hollingbury hill fort for a great free view of Brighton and its surroundings and a bit of fresh air, without an annoying crowd of grinning yuppie tossers from London flashing their filthy money around.

Finally (for the time being at least) we have the 40-storey block of 1,000 flats at Brighton Marina, designed by Wilkinson Eyre architects, designers of a fancy (and expensive) footbridge in Newcastle. It would be the tallest building in Sussex, higher than the cliff top behind it and the crowning centrepiece of a massive development of crammed yuppie apartments, done up post-apocalyptic style. While the already lumpen Marina doesn't contain any architectural beauty that would be affected by the proposed cluster of ungainly monstrosities, it is close enough to visually overwhelm Kemp Town's sea front houses, and the proposed site is an important spot for wildlife. It contains one of the best patches of sea-kale in the area and is a feeding ground for diverse birds including purple sandpipers. With unintended irony, the architects describe their plan to concrete over this little enclave of nature as 'drawing its principal inspiration from the natural context - chalk cliffs, sea and sky.'

Thousands of Kemp Town and other Brighton residents campaigned against the development, which was initially rejected by the council but approved on appeal, no doubt after a few more bottles of gratis champagne.
RM would like to remind all developers reaching for the sky that the law of gravity applies to house prices just like anything else, and look forward to squatting entire blocks of luxury apartments in a few years' time when the developers realise they've bitten off more than they can chew.

But Kurtz Blundermacher, professor of post-rational idiotics at the University of Sussex, welcomed the multi-storey monstrosities and told RM "These concrete manifestations of phallic regeneration are an immanent reflection on the creative sterility central to late capitalist existence and the circularity of our attempts to escape it. They are a living commentary on our perceptions of dissociation from our environment, which of course, with knowing irony, they exacerbate. Anyway, I live in a charming period cottage in Lewes, with climbing roses and a rockery, so why should I give a shit?"

HELTER SHELTER

Although RM's a big fan of public transport, we're well aware of the contribution we've all made to the 'increase in shareholder value' achieved through the doubling of bus fares over the last six years. Its now over three quid a day! Does this end up in the pockets of bus drivers ? Don't make us laugh - most of them can no longer even afford to live in the city. The 'Go Ahead' group, which owns Brighton & Hove Bus Company, saw pre-tax profits leap from £20million in 2004 to a whopping £98.2million in 2005. Kerching! But its not just the buses squeezing every possible penny out of your daily commute.

The rights to advertise in Brighton's bus shelters are now with corporate giant and major George Bush sponsor, Clear Channel. Thanks to their take over of Adshel, the "leading supplier of street furniture solutions" They now control 65% of the UK's billboards. Over in the US, Clear Channel owns nearly 1,500 radio stations, 40 TV stations and 700,000 billboards.

They're the kind of company who booted the Dixie Chicks off its airwaves as soon as they came out as anti-war, instead opting to promote the 2003 pro-war 'Rallies for America'. During the last US presidential election, top executives donated $42,200 to Bush compared with just $1,750 for challenger John Kerry! They were also only too happy to nip in and hire DJ Michael Savage after he was fired by US news group MSNBC for telling a gay caller to 'get Aids and die'.

It's good to know such a charming bunch will now be responsible for ramming the corporate consumption messages down our throats as we take shelter from the ever-stranger weather. We can only hope that they aren't hit with a wave of graffiti and subvertising attacks...

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LEAF IT OUT

As the Titnore Woods campaign hits the six month mark, protestors are digging in for winter. Around 20 dirty, scruffy oiks living in two separate encampments are holding out to defend one of our last remaining ancient woodlands from Tescos and an 850 home development just outside Worthing. Surviving on a diet of roasted ears and gunshot pellets - rumour has it one plucky hero fried up and ate his lug-hole after having it bitten off by a dog, while two others were fired on by some tasty hoodrats giving it the big-un outside Tesco - our Titnore troubadours are determined to stay the course. One scruffy herbert told RM "Spirits are pretty good, we have about ten tree houses now, and more people are coming down from all over the country." This despite regular visits from the local plod, eight officers at the last count, armed with cameras and good advice. Apparently fir trees have a very shallow root base, said one, visibly shaken by a tree house 30 ft up. In the wrong profession there, mate.

Meanwhile calls for a public inquiry into the whole sorry scheme have met with a flat no from Ruth Kelly who's taken over from Two Jags Prescott, which kinda reinforces the lack of democratic scrutiny then. However, there is still unlikely to be any work for up to a year. Amended plans are being drawn up following government advice that Titnore Lane doesn't need to be straightened and Worthing Borough Council
has asked developers to have a T junction instead of the roundabout at the entrance to the proposed estate on Titnore Lane.

Why not get down to the camp yourself over Xmas - they welcome all visitors as long as you're not wearing a blue uniform and walking purposefully with your arms behind your back while whistling the theme tune to Dixon of Dock Green. There's a wish-list of tarpaulin, warm clothes (jackets, jumpers) and grub. For directions go to www.protectourwoodland.co.uk P.S Profile FM is supporting the camp on 104.2 FM. and can be heard over most of South Sussex on Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings from about 7pm to midnight and also at www.profilefm.virtue.nu

FLAGSHIP OF FOOLS

One of Bliar's flagship 'academies' is coming to a town near you. Oh yes, Brighton is to have it's very own Falmer Academy - if Brighton Council gets its way. The planned £27m centre of 'excellence' could be open by 2009.

Academies are independent schools where parents and teachers have little or no legal say in how the school is run. However anyone with £2m to splash around can become a sponsor and basically run the show - including setting curriculum and school policy.

The council are keen for this to go ahead - so keen they waived their usual rules and allowed the £50,000 contract to develop the academy plans to go to the same consultancy firm as used by the Albion football team. It is surely coincidental that one member of the board of governors of the school is also a director of the club.
Telling the consultants which proposals it should consider, the council has basically predetermined the outcome it wants to see. Surely if the area is going to be developed at all, it should be for the benefit of the whole city and not just the footie club and school.

Standing by with his grubby £2m is the Academy's sponsor, businessman Jon Aisbitt, donator of £250,000 to Neo Labour's general election fund and whose £95m fortune puts him in 419th on the Rich List. He will appoint the school governors, which in other academies includes only one parent and one teacher, in contrast to 'maintained' and 'community' schools where parents make up at least a third.

And the only rights the parents have will be those written into funding contracts drawn up between council education officers and Aisbitt. Parents are kept well out of the loop and the contract's content is only known once the ink is dry.

One Green Cllr told RM, "The Council's education policy is all over the place. Falmer School is presently under-subscribed (690 students against 1055 capacity); when that happened to Comart, the secondary school for east Brighton, the council closed it down. At Falmer, they're proposing to build a whole new school!"

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GOONS FOR HIRE

Toytown cops in the wrong Laine

Yet more uniformed goons have been let out of their cages and on to Brighton's streets following a decision to classify the area as a Business Improvement District. BID is a government sponsored effort to improve (i.e gentrify) town centre shopping complexes. Churchill Square has had its own stuffed uniforms for a while, but the BID covers almost all of the North Laine, North Street and the South Lanes. Radioed-up groups of security are nothing new to our fair city, regularly running up London Road in packs after solitary shoplifters, mostly pretending they're in the army (see RM 4). But uniformed street wardens in a public place - that's a new if not totally unexpected twist. In drawing up these plans, which will mean at least two uniformed security in the area at any given time, BID appear to have missed the difference between being in a shopping centre and being in the street. A street is a commonly-owned public place, which exists for reasons other than selling as much overpriced crap as you can in the run up to Christmas.

Tony "Big Earner" Mernagh, CEO of RM favourites the Brighton and Hove Business Forum, which is running the BID (keep it in the quango family), said the guards, while uniformed, would not be wearing "jackboots and peaked caps". He did not rule out the possibility of arm bands however. "They will be a visible presence to meet and greet visitors and challenge people involved in antisocial behaviour." Antisocial behaviour these days is so broadly defined as to include virtually anything not immediately profitable. All the other reasons people might be in the Laines for - busking, political stalls, and the handing out of libellous newsheets are likely to be ejected on the say so of some totally unelected utterly spurious authority in a fluoro jacket. Another victory for the privitising forces of B&H Plc...

Josh Arghiros

WANKERS CORNER

A regular column featuring our favourite Brightonians

This month's special RM award for onanistic excellence goes to Josh Arghiros, head honcho of developers behind the Gehry towers. He's been described, (presumably by himself), as "a man on a mission with a healthy disrespect for convention". In fact it seems that this upper class twat has chosen the entirely conventional mission of making piles of cash by disrespectfully pissing on ordinary people from a great height.

He sneeringly described opponents of brutalist over-development as a "very vocal and vitriolic minority of No voters who are holding the city back." On Brad Pitt's interest in the Gehry project, name-dropping Josh yapped: "I understand he has really good taste. Everyone wants to be a part of it because it's so bloody brilliant." What a prick. Mutual masturbator Pitt added: "I've got a few men I respect very much and one would be Frank Gehry. He said to me, 'If you know where it's going, it's not worth doing.' That's become like a mantra for me. That's the life of the artist." - Well how fuckin' profound. Josh's team (Mark, Heather and Zoe) explain, on their nauseatingly pretentious and slick website that they are "driven by inspirational ideas and visionary projects that capture the imagination". RM's imagination was certainly inspired - by a vision of bloated architects, planners and property developers diving head-first from a top floor window of Gehry's Wobbly Towers into a 3-storey skip. Wankers.

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MIDWIFE CRISIS

Following recent reports in our rival publication, the Argus, RM can now confirm that anyone planning to have a baby in Brighton in the near future better start hunting down the endangered species that is the midwife. Services are being slashed at the hospital as one ward closes, home visits to new mums are cut, home births are being refused, women are being turfed out of hospital within six hours and staffing shortages reach new and unprecedented levels. Several local fathers have ended up delivering their own baby, which may make a great pub story but is certainly not "best practice."

Recent re-structuring at the hospital has meant that instead of the usual ten days of home care by a midwife, tailored to the individual needs of the family, first-time mums are being seen once or twice before being discharged at the earliest opportunity. These cut backs have followed months of piecemeal reductions in care that has seen midwives being forced to justify any "additional" time they spend with women. This has huge knock-on effects on breast-feeding rates as new mothers miss out on help and encouragement at the toughest time, when many may be considering hitting the (formula) bottle.

Admissions of new born babies to the Alex children's hospital have rocketed since the new regime has been in place. No official statistics exist but RM can reveal that unofficial internal figures show a 50% increase. The babies are being seen for dehydration, low blood sugar and jaundice...all issues compounded by the lack of support given to new feeding mothers. In post natal care, parents are being left to fend for themselves, with regular check-ups being missed and overnight waits just to find someone to examine their baby so they can be discharged.

A new letter being sent to mothers trumpets the benefits of maternal choice and care in the community (sound familiar?!) The basic implication is that women should want and chose the new model as its very empowering and, well, a whole lot cheaper. Anyway these mothers brought it on themselves, really, by getting pregnant in the first place. The cut backs and emergency measures are all part of a wider debt crisis in the Hospital Trust (See RM12). The overdraft is being tackled by the hilariously optimisticly named "Turn Around Team" which is forcing managers to take such 'belt tightening' measures that result have such a drastic impact on the hospital's maternity ward.

So, limited care in hospital as two wards become one, putting on the pressure for a much quicker "turn around" on the conveyor belt of birth. Limited home care as midwives are unavailable for home births and have to justify after-care visits. As the public sector ends up in an uneven partnership with the private sector, such cutbacks can only serve to widen investment opportunities for private medical firms, taking up the burden of providing good care to women at a crucial time in their lives. So, expect a £5-a-minute BirthDirect helpline sometime soon - 'For birth complications press 2. For umbilical knotting instructions, press 3...please hold, your call is important to us...'

THE HOLE TRUTH

Despite the change in the law regarding hunting it seems old habits die-hard for cap-doffing Sussex Police. On 14th November they allowed the Crawley and Horsham fox hunt to dig out and shoot a fox. When monitors attempted to film this blatant breach of the Hunting Act they nicked them instead!

The incident took place at the Heaselands Estate (home of Lady Lucinda Kleinwort), near Haywards Heath. Around 1pm monitors saw the hunt chasing a fox, which then went to ground by entering a badger sett. Besides being illegal to chase a fox in the first place, it is also illegal to interfere with a badger sett and, under the Hunting Act 2004, illegal to dig out and shoot a fox.

The notoriously violent Crawley and Horsham hunt have always had a cosy relationship with our local boys-in-blue, giving them a carte blanche to attack protesters. This wasn't even dented when hunt supporters rammed a vehicle containing Trevor Mcdonut's ITN team off the road last year. Police used to find the resources to field eighty coppers a weekend protect hunts from saboteurs, frequently arresting people for attempting to interfere in the grisly business. So why the failure to enforce the law with similar vigour now? You draw the conclusions...

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EDOWNSIZING

Things ain't looking good for Brighton's bomb builders EDO MBM in the run-up to the season of peace and goodwill. While the boys up on Home Farm road might still be churning out the tools of Armageddon like there's no tomorrow, over the pond the outlook's bleak. For the third quarter in a row US parent company EDO Corporation have failed to hit their expected targets and their share price is hurtling downwards like... well like a bomb.

Anyone who can't sell bombs during the "War on Terror'™ probably couldn't sell hippie bobble hats in North Laine in February. Signalling a return to base, EDO Corp CEO, President and Chairman James Smith announced this month that there would be '"a major review of all its business units, to decide on future strategy of the company" ...and we all know what that means in the mouth of a capitalist robber baron - job losses! In a phone-in and Q&A with investors, available on the EDO Corp website, Smith reveals that he has already decided the company will pull out of the 'rugged computer' business, which includes EDO MBM RUGGED SYSTEMS, a large part of the Brighton operation. More than a few laser guided P45s are currently being aimed at the workforce.

But some of Brighton's residents aren't waiting for the machinations of global finance to bring EDO down and they're engaging in a bit of shock and awe of their own. Reports on Indymedia stated that peacenik desperadoes locked EDOs gates and smashed the CCTV at the factory before fleeing into the night.

On Hallowe'en, a supernatural masked mob gathered outside the factory. Some masked-up, some covered in fake blood, there was a thoroughly menacing atmosphere. People battered large oil drums, pots and pans and a sound system blasted out sounds of war. There were screams down mega-phones at those leaving after another batch of bomb-making. Part of the fence was broken and people haunted the road, slowing traffic.
The police confined themselves to threatening people with arrest for banging the fence with spoons - criminal damage apparently.

Press Spokesman for the campaign Andrew 'Slasher' Beckett, disguised in an ill-fitting zombie suit, told RM "It's no trick, we're treating them like scary monsters til their ghosts are long gone.

* For events and demo dates see the Gig Guide

ECO-PITALISTS SHAKE MONEY TREE

Brighton: where else can you score a soya frappuccino in an organic recycled container and make £5,000 a month on your property portfolio? Eco-capitalism is blooming and greenwash is being used to justify the City's insatiable appetite for consumerism by expressing greed in more environmentally friendly terms. The same companies producing carbon-neutral 'corporate social responsibility' reports are the ones pushing eco-disastrous spending sprees, and their bosses sit on the quangos that oversee a local economic policy intent on redistributing wealth from the poor to the rich (see RM 1-12).

But the business community can "play a major part in adressing (sic) the growing problems and challenges of climate change" according to local lobby group, Brighton Business Forum (BBF). One major piece of advice is to diversify your investments by adjusting to the climate change economy and start flogging brollies and water butts instead (see RM 12).

To be fair BBF is offering some radical solutions in its 'Climate Change Commitments' strategy. These include only recycling paper that's "been used on both sides", avoiding purchasing paper plates and making sure "windows and doors are closed when heating is on". Great! But while we here at RM have been worrying about societal collapse, we can now breathe a sigh of relief in the knowledge that BBF members will be filling "the kitchen sink with water before washing cups instead of letting the tap run."

The only solid commitment to action by the Forum is a target of achieving 70% of all business journeys using sustainable transport. So by 2020 expect business leaders to be carted around in rickshaws hauled by skint bus drivers looking to broaden their revenue streams. If you've got any suggestions for how the city's economy ought to be run, send 'em over to the Forum's boss at mernagh@btconnect.com

Pie Shop in the Sky

The proposals for the 'continental style' chocca-mocca shopping mall redevelopment of the Open Market off London Road (see RM 12) will be on display in the Jubilee Library from 7-9 December. Nice consultation effort - except that questions from the public will be taken on Thursday 7th from 5.30 to 7.30, which means you have to get in for an early pre-emptive look and get those questions ready pretty damn quick.

Promoters of the 10 million quid scheme are claiming that London Road is a 'forgotten part of town'. Forgotten by who? Forgotten by the kind of tosser whose life oscillates meaninglessly between Victoria station and a half million quid Kemptown loft apartment and buys their feta cheese at Bill's perhaps? Last time the RM crew remembered that we were on London Rd it looked pretty busy, full of people who similarly hadn't succumbed to amnesia. But sadly London Rd is only remembered by the wrong kind of people. Punters who might just want a bit of cheap fruit and veg, to unlock a legitimately acquired mobile phone, cash a rubber cheque or even enjoy some delicious Malaysian Ravioli in the Cowley Club, have not forgotten how useful a bistro-free London Road can be.

Some market stallholders may stand to do well out of the influx of the moneyed classes, but what will happen to the refreshingly down-to-earth, cheap-and-cheerful character of the Open Market and shops that sell things the 'forgotten' half of the population can actually afford?

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Off with their sheds!

Why has Brighton council closed down the allotment waiting list for a year despite admitting there's a queue of over a thousand people? Is there really no space left? Course not. There are free plots all over Brighton: The council doesn't want to fill the vacancies quick because then any chance of housing/business quick-buck development projects goes out the window. This is a national problem as allotment sites countrywide are being eaten up by greedy developers. If you know owt about this - maybe you're a council mole, or simply a mole - drop your own dirt-digging RM a line. Write to roughmusic@hotmail.co.uk

SQUAT THRUSTS

Sussex Police's policy of evicting squats is on ever more shaky ground. After around 40 people occupied a disused hospital in Hove, cops in a well-organised operation used firemen as a legal pretext to enter the building, then threatened to arrest squatters for 'abstracting electricity' - even though the electric company confirmed on the phone that they had set up an account! The squatters moved on, leaving private security goons hired by police to loot their property overnight.

Moving on to another building, our intrepid squatting team were grudgingly allowed to stay by the police (as is their legal right, of course, but never mind) when they promised not to have any parties. The owner, a Christian, was charitably prepared to use proper legal channels to evict the group of homeless people into the winter night. But another interested party, dressed in Graham Greene style 50s' suit and accompanied by a chuckling goon, was not so concerned with legal niceties and crashed through the door that evening with six stick-wielding meatheads. Police showed typical selective blindness to the thugs' violence, allowing them to gain legal possession by flagrantly illegal means.

While RM would never indulge in unfounded speculation, people involved in the squats believe that police and landlords worked together to form these policies and tactics - another front in the Brighton authorities' war against anyone who doesn't fit into shiny B&H Plc.

GREASE IS THE WORD

More revelations from B&H Council

RM's anonymous source at Brighton council (don't worry we'll never reveal your name, Barbara. Oops, oh shit..) has revealed that the extent of palm-greasing in the corridors of power has become a health and safety risk. "Constantly greased palms are at risk of a significant reduction in their gripping power. High-ranking councillors have become unable to reliably hold a pint glass and we are considering changing over to old-fashioned tankards. Imagine the risks to the public of a pint glass dropped, say, from a high window of Frank Gehry's 'Wobbly' Tower. It's a serious problem." A spokesperson for Green councillors assured RM that they only accept fairly-traded organic palm oil.

Rough Music Gig List

Regulars:

Critical Mass - Last Friday of every month six pm at the level

Smash Edo Noise Demos 4 'til 6 every Weds, Home Farm Rd

Fundraising dinners for the Cowley Club - every Thursday 8 'til 9 Cowley Club London Rd

Irregulars:

* Thurs 7th Despite sinking into their own anecdotage, SchNEWS continues the anti CJB strugle with another attempt to salvage their ailing media empire by throwing a Birthday party (their 12th) at The Church club, Dyke Rd. From 9pm.

* Fri 15th Dec - Fundraiser for Smash EDO at the Cowley Club (again) bands, peaceniks and cheap beer. Come and jeer at Andrew Beckett's forlorn karaoke

* Thurs 21st December Phone Blockade of EDO MBM Call 01273 810500, 810501, 810502 etc or fax 810 600 and tell the arms dealers what you think of them.